The Best & The Worst. [but the love's still there!]

I remember the very first time that we kissed.
You were on my front porch, I was in my door way.
It was winter of 04'.
"I love you" was the first thing you ever said to me.
I could say it to your face now, and then I could kiss you, it's not just over the phone anymore.
The look in your eyes was indescribable, and that beautiful smile you wore ear to ear, made me realize that I didn't know it was possible to even be that happy...
I'll never forget that moment, no matter how old and decrepit my mind becomes.
I remember it like it was yesterday, and when I close my eyes, it's like I can still smell your perfume...
I also remember the day that you said goodbye,
It was fall 08'.
We were standing in my backroom, arms in a mess around each other.
As hard as I fought, the tears won out, and I couldn't help but cry.
You reached up to wipe my tears away, and I smiled...
But honestly, it felt like my heart was being ripped out through my throat.
And with that, you grabbed your keys and headed out the back door.
I caught up just as you were opening the door, and you turned with tears clouding your eyes and simply said...
"Baby, I have to go..."
"Stay strong for me, please? This isn't goodbye, we'll be together again, I promise..."
The words came out slowly, in between the waves of tears.
You stood on your tip-toes to look right into my eyes...
"...I love you so much, I'm so sorry, But I-I-I-I have to go now."
"I-I-I love you too, babydoll.."
I've got my arms wrapped around you, and you've got yours around me,
An embrace that I never want to end.
You squeezed me tight, one last time, then you pulled away.
With my eyes soaked and shut tight, we kiss one last time, with the taste of tears embedded on both of our lips....
I never want this to end.
As we broke the kiss that I wanted to last forever, you slid into the drivers seat and started the car.
"I can't stay any longer, I have to go baby..."
For the most part, I fought the tears and won, but a few slipped out to run down my cheek...
"Please don't cry," you said to me.
I watched you put the car in reverse, so I knew it was time...
So I leaned in to kiss you one more time,
You had your window rolled down, so I pushed your door shut for you...
And as soon as the door slammed shut, you started to back up.
"I LOVE YOU!!"
But you were already out of the drive way.
As you backed out, it felt like you ripped my heart out and drug it down the road behind you.
September 7th, 2008 -- one of the worst days of my life.
But you know what?
I'll always love you, you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
Whether it's 2014 or 2113,
My love will always be there.
I miss you.
But more importantly -
I love you, always and forever, +3D.

About A Fallen Angel...

She came to me,
Beaten, bloody, and bruised.
Oh.My.God.
What happened?
Through split lips and broken teeth, a barely audible whisper escaped...
"They kept me from flying free, they kept saying they had to destroy an angel, they had to destroy something beautiful..."
And I watched a tear form in her almost swollen shut black and bruised eye.
She tried to speak again, so I leaned in closer, to try and catch the whisper...
With tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, to the corners of her mouth,
She slowly said..."They - They - They took -- my --wings..."
And she slowly turned around, to show me the two bloody stumps.
The stumps where her wings used to be..
It took everything in me to fight the tears.
"Come on, lets get you inside and cleaned up," and all she could do was nod.
I draped a blanket across her shoulder so she could get warm,
Then headed off to start her a hot bath.
Once I had the water ran, I helped her undress, then helped her in..
After she was in, I left her alone to relax, I was only gone for twenty minutes...
When I came to check on her, I found her face down in a pool of bloody water,
With my straight razor on the floor...
Why God? WHY?!
She knew she'd never survive, being confined to the ground...
So she did the only thing she could.
She took her own life that night.
I'm so sorry, angel.
I don't understand how people could destroy someone so beautiful.
How could they be so heartless?
I just pray she finds comfort and peace, wherever she goes...
At least she's not suffering anymore.
Rest in Paradise, my angel.
You'll be forever missed.
Gone, but never forgotten....

One Day.

Maybe. I hope. But, what more can I do. I never thought it'd be, I never thought we'd even say hello again. But, here we are. Who knows what time and the future will bring.

The Heat or the Cold....?

Anymore, I can't really stomach this heat.
Or maybe it's the cold weather that makes my spine shiver.
To be honest, I can't really tell anymore.
Nothing's felt the same since you left.
I miss you.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night...
I'll jump awake, because I was dreaming of you.
And when I look around,
I still search for you for those first few seconds..
Until I remember.
You're gone.
I can't explain the way it makes me feel.
The emptiness.
The ache.
The want.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes,
It feels like I've caught a faint scent of your perfume.
I'll never forget that smell.
The way it would absorb into everything around you.
The pillows, blankets, sheets...
...My heart.
When you left, I didn't wash my pillowcases for a month,
Because there was a piece of you left behind.
I could bury my face in my pillows,
And be taken back to when you slept beside me.
What I'd give to have one night.
One conversation.
One heart to heart,
Even if it only lasted five or ten minutes.
Just one more moment.
One more moment with you.
I'd trade it all away,
I'd give it all up.
Just to see those eyes, that smile, the way your lips part and your tongue lashed out.
I'd give anything and everything,
For that one moment...
Maybe one day.
Maybe it's only a dream away.
And for once, I'm praying that this dream comes true.
Regardless of how long it's been, or what's gone down, I'll never be able to deny the fact, that..
....Everyday, I still love and miss you...